Sex Toys: The Complete Guide

Sex toys have been part of human life for thousands of years. The oldest known example is a 30,000-year-old siltstone phallus found in a cave in Germany. Ancient Greece had them. Renaissance Italy had them. The American South spent decades trying to ban them and failed, constitutionally, in federal court.

Today the global sex toy industry is valued at over $35 billion and growing. And yet for most people, the experience of actually buying one — understanding what it's made of, how to use it safely, how to clean it — is still largely left to guesswork.

This is the guide that closes that gap.

What is a sex toy

A sex toy is any object or device used primarily to facilitate sexual pleasure. That definition covers an enormous range — from a simple vibrating bullet the size of a thumb to elaborate furniture designed to support specific positions. The term includes BDSM apparatus, couples toys, solo toys, and everything in between.

What it doesn't include: contraception, pornography, or condoms. Those serve different primary functions. A sex toy's primary function is pleasure.

The main categories

Sex toys broadly divide into categories by who they're designed for and what they do. Most toys cross multiple categories — a vibrating cock ring, for example, is both a penile toy and a couples toy. Use these as a starting point, not a rigid map.

Vibrators

Vibrators use a motor to create pulsating or buzzing sensation. They come in an enormous range of shapes, sizes, and intensities — from tiny bullet vibrators designed for targeted clitoral stimulation, to powerful wand vibrators originally marketed as back massagers, to rabbit-style vibrators that combine internal and external stimulation simultaneously.

Vibrators are the most popular category of sex toy sold, used by people of all genders for solo and partnered play.

For the complete guide: Vibrators: A Complete Guide

Specific guides: The Rose Toy · Bullet Vibrators · Wand Vibrators · Rabbit Vibrators

Dildos and penetrative toys

A dildo is a non-vibrating device used for penetration. Dildos come in an enormous range of shapes, sizes, and materials — silicone, glass, stainless steel, and others — and may be designed to resemble a penis or take entirely different forms optimized for G-spot or P-spot stimulation.

Strap-on dildos are worn in a harness for partnered penetration. Double-ended dildos allow for mutual penetration. Kegel exercisers, sometimes called vaginal barbells or Ben Wa balls, are designed to strengthen pelvic floor muscles and can also be used for pleasure.

For the complete guide: Dildos and Penetrative Toys: A Complete Guide

Specific guides: Strap-On Guide · Glass Sex Toys · Kegel Exercises and Toys

Anal toys

Anal toys are specifically designed for anal use and always feature a flared base — a base significantly wider than the widest point of the toy — that prevents the toy from becoming lost inside the body. This is not optional design. It is a safety requirement. Any toy without a flared base is not safe for anal use regardless of what the marketing says.

Butt plugs are the most common anal toy, designed for insertion and wear. Prostate massagers are curved to reach and stimulate the prostate gland, sometimes called the P-spot, which is a significant source of pleasure for people with prostates.

For the complete guide: Anal Toys: A Complete Guide

Specific guides: Butt Plugs · Prostate Massage

Penile toys

Toys designed for penises include cock rings, male masturbators, penis sleeves, and pumps. Cock rings work by restricting blood flow out of the penis, prolonging erection and intensifying sensation — many include vibrators designed to stimulate a partner simultaneously. Male masturbators, sometimes called strokers, are textured sleeves designed to simulate penetration.

For the complete guide: Penile Toys: A Complete Guide

Specific guides: Cock Ring Guide · Male Masturbators

BDSM and sensation toys

BDSM encompasses a wide range of practices involving bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism. The toys in this category include rope, restraints, impact implements like floggers and paddles, sensation tools like wartenberg wheels and feathers, and specialty items like eternity collars and blindfolds.

Safety and consent are foundational to all BDSM play — not as a disclaimer but as the actual architecture of how it works. Before exploring this category, read:

Safety: The Through-Line of Everything · Consent: The Foundation of Exploration · Shibari: The Art and Safety of Rope Play · Impact Play: Sensation, Control, and Building Intensity

Materials: what your toy is made of matters

Not all sex toys are body-safe. The United States classifies sex toys as novelty items rather than medical devices, which means manufacturers are not legally required to disclose chemical composition. Some toys contain phthalates — chemical softeners banned from children's toys but not from adult products.

The safest materials are non-porous and phthalate-free: 100% medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass, stainless steel, aluminum, and ABS hard plastic. These can be thoroughly cleaned and in most cases fully sterilized.

Porous materials — jelly rubber, PVC, TPE, cyberskin — cannot be fully sterilized. Use a condom with porous toys every time and replace them when they show signs of wear.

For the full breakdown: Sex Toy Materials: What's Body-Safe and What to Avoid

Cleaning: every toy, every time

Cleaning after every use is non-negotiable. How you clean depends entirely on what your toy is made of — silicone can be boiled, hard plastic cannot, motorized toys cannot be submerged. Using the wrong method can damage a toy or leave it harboring bacteria despite appearing clean.

For the complete guide by material: How to Clean Sex Toys: A Complete Guide by Material

Lubricant: the most important accessory

Lubricant reduces friction, increases comfort, and extends the life of your toys. It also, if you choose the wrong type, can destroy a silicone toy or compromise a latex condom.

The short version: use water-based lubricant with silicone toys and latex condoms. Silicone-based lubricant works for everything except silicone toys. Oil-based lubricant is not compatible with latex.

For the complete guide: The Lube Guide: Which Lubricant Works With Your Toy

Safety: the through-line

Every category of toy and every form of play has safety considerations specific to it. The fundamentals apply everywhere: know your materials, clean properly, use the right lubricant, inspect toys before use, and replace them when they show wear.

For comprehensive safety guidance: Sex Toy Safety: The Complete Guide

A brief history

Dildos have existed across nearly every human culture with documented history. The oldest known example dates to 28,000 BCE. Ancient Greece manufactured them from leather stuffed with wool, lubricated with olive oil. They appear in the comedies of Aristophanes, the erotic novels of Edo-period Japan, and the court poetry of 17th century England.

Vibrators were first electromechanical devices invented in the 1880s, initially marketed for muscle pain relief. By the mid-20th century, sex-positive feminist educators like Betty Dodson were using them in workshops on women's sexual autonomy. The Hitachi Magic Wand — originally a back massager — became an icon of that movement.

In the American South, several states including Alabama and Texas maintained laws banning the sale of sex toys well into the 2000s. Federal courts struck them down as unconstitutional violations of the right to privacy. Mississippi has its own complicated history with these statutes — and Romantic Adventures has been operating here through all of it, since 2001.

For the full history: The History of Sex Toys

Where to start

If you're new to sex toys, the most useful starting points are understanding materials — so you know what you're buying — and lubricant compatibility — so you don't damage what you buy. From there, the category guides will help you find what's right for your body and your interests.

If you have questions, Romantic Adventures has been answering them without judgment for 25 years. Come see us at 175 Highway 80 East in Pearl, Mississippi, or if you are not sure where to begin? Our guide to choosing the right sex toy walks you through it step by step.

Everything in this cluster

Sex Toy Safety: The Complete Guide

Sex Toy Materials: What's Body-Safe and What to Avoid How to Clean Sex Toys: A Complete Guide by Material

The Lube Guide: Which Lubricant Works With Your Toy Vibrators:

A Complete Guide The Rose Toy Bullet Vibrators Wand Vibrators Rabbit Vibrators Dildos and Penetrative Toys:

A Complete Guide Strap-On Guide Glass Sex Toys Kegel Exercises and Toys Anal Toys:

A Complete Guide Butt Plugs Prostate Massage Penile Toys: A Complete Guide

Cock Ring Guide Male Masturbators The History of Sex Toys Safety: The Through-Line of Everything

Consent: The Foundation of Exploration

Shibari: The Art and Safety of Rope Play

Impact Play: Sensation, Control, and Building Intensity