Sex Toy Safety: The Complete Guide to Materials, Cleaning, and Safe Play

The most common question people don't ask out loud when they're shopping for a sex toy is: is this thing safe? It's a fair question. The industry is less regulated than you might expect, and the answers aren't always printed on the box.

This is the guide we wish everyone read before their first purchase — and the one that experienced toy owners often wish they'd found sooner.

What's actually in your sex toy

Here's something the packaging rarely tells you: sex toys in the United States are classified as novelty items, not medical devices. That classification means manufacturers are not legally required to disclose the chemical composition of their products. What this translates to in practice is that some toys — particularly inexpensive ones made from jelly rubber, PVC, or "cyberskin" — may contain phthalates.

Phthalates are chemical softeners added to plastics to make them flexible and squishy. They've been banned from children's toys by the Consumer Product Safety Commission. They haven't been banned from adult toys.

The good news is that safer materials exist and are widely available. Knowing what to look for makes all the difference.

Body-safe materials: Silicone (100% medical-grade), borosilicate glass, stainless steel, aluminum, and ABS hard plastic are all non-porous and phthalate-free. These are the materials worth spending more for.

Porous materials to approach with caution: Jelly rubber, PVC, cyberskin, rubber, and latex are porous — meaning they have microscopic holes that harbor bacteria even after cleaning. If you own porous toys, use a condom on them every time, and replace them when they show signs of degradation.

When in doubt, look for toys labeled "body-safe," "phthalate-free," or "medical-grade silicone." If a toy has a strong chemical smell out of the box, that's information.

The porous vs. non-porous distinction

This is the single most useful thing to understand about sex toy materials.

Non-porous toys — silicone, glass, stainless steel — can be properly sterilized between uses. They don't absorb bacteria. They're the safer choice for solo use, sharing between partners, and longevity.

Porous toys absorb and retain bacteria, no matter how carefully you clean the surface. They can't be fully sterilized. That doesn't mean they can't be used safely — it means you need to use condoms on them and replace them regularly, especially if you notice any stickiness, cracking, or odor that doesn't wash away.

How to clean your toys — by material

Cleaning after every use is non-negotiable. Here's how to do it properly by material type.

Non-porous, non-motorized toys:

Silicone, glass, and stainless steel toys without electronics can be sterilized thoroughly. Boil them for five to ten minutes, run them through the top rack of the dishwasher without detergent, or soak stainless steel in a 1:10 bleach-water solution for ten minutes. For everyday cleaning between sterilizations, warm water and unscented antibacterial soap work well.

Non-porous toys with motors or electronics:

Don't boil or submerge. Wipe down thoroughly with a damp cloth and unscented soap, rinse carefully, and dry completely before storing. Some are splash-proof but not submersible — check the manufacturer's guidance.

Hard plastic (ABS):

Wash with soap and warm water. Do not boil. Hard plastic can warp under high heat.

Porous toys — cyberskin, rubber, jelly:

Clean with warm water, air dry completely, and store dry. Cyberskin and vinyl can benefit from a light dusting of cornstarch to keep them from becoming sticky. Always use a condom with porous toys, especially if sharing.

Nylon harnesses and fabric items:

Top rack of the dishwasher or wash with soap and water.

One consistent rule across all materials: use warm water and unscented antibacterial soap for surface cleaning. Scented soaps can irritate sensitive tissue.

The lube compatibility rule everyone needs to know

This is where even experienced toy owners make mistakes.

Silicone-based lubricants will degrade silicone toys over time, breaking down the material and creating a surface that traps bacteria. If your toy is silicone, use water-based lubricant.

Oil-based lubricants will degrade latex condoms, making them ineffective as a barrier. If you're using latex condoms on toys or with partners, use water-based lubricant.

Water-based lubricant is the universal safe choice. It's compatible with all toy materials and all condom types. It dries out faster than silicone-based, so you may need to reapply — but it won't damage your toys or compromise your protection.

Glass, stainless steel, and hard plastic toys are compatible with any lubricant type.

Anal safety: the flared base rule

If you're using toys anally, this rule is not optional: every toy used for anal play must have a flared base or a retrieval string.

The rectum can create suction and draw objects upward. A toy without a flared base can become lodged in ways that require medical intervention to resolve. This is not a rare occurrence. Emergency rooms see it regularly.

Flared base means the base of the toy is significantly wider than the widest point of the toy itself — wide enough that it cannot be pulled inside the body. If a toy doesn't have this, it's not designed for anal use regardless of what the marketing says.

Butt plugs, prostate massagers, and anal beads designed specifically for anal play will have this feature. Dildos and vibrators without a flared base should not be used anally.

Sharing toys safely

Sex toys can transmit bacteria, yeast, and sexually transmitted infections if shared without proper precautions. The safest approach for sharing toys is:

Use a fresh condom each time the toy passes between partners. This applies to porous and non-porous toys alike — even a toy that can be sterilized should have a fresh condom when shared.

For non-porous toys shared between fluid-bonded partners, thorough cleaning and sterilization between uses is appropriate.

How to store your toys

Clean, dry, and separate. Most toys do best stored individually — in the pouch they came in, or in a dedicated fabric bag — rather than loose in a drawer where they can contact each other or collect dust and lint.

Silicone toys stored touching other silicone toys can bond over time. Keep them separate.

Keep toys away from extreme heat and direct sunlight, which can degrade materials. A cool, dry, private drawer works well for most people.

Checking for wear

Before each use, check your toys for tears, rough seams, cracks, or changes in texture. Degraded material can cause irritation or harbor bacteria in ways that are difficult to clean. When a toy starts to show signs of breakdown — stickiness, discoloration, cracking, persistent odor — it's time to replace it.

Good toys are an investment in your health. Replacing a toy when it's worn out is part of that investment.

For BDSM and power exchange play

If your exploration includes bondage, impact play, or other forms of power exchange, safety takes on additional dimensions. We've covered those in depth in dedicated guides:

• Safety: The Through-Line of Everything — aftercare, safewords, technique, and knowing your limits
• Consent: The Foundation of Exploration — negotiation, boundaries, and ongoing communication
• Shibari: The Art and Safety of Rope Play — nerve safety, circulation checks, and proper technique

The bottom line

Sex toy safety isn't complicated once you know the basics. Choose body-safe materials. Clean after every use. Use the right lubricant for your toy. Follow the flared base rule for anal play. Replace toys when they show wear.

The goal is pleasure that's also sustainable — play that doesn't leave you or your partner dealing with infections, irritation, or injury. A little knowledge up front makes everything that follows better.

Romantic Adventures has carried body-safe toys for 25 years. If you have questions about a specific product or material, our staff is here to help — no judgment, just honest answers.

Ready to shop with confidence? Our guide to choosing the right sex toy covers what to look for.

Related Reading:

• How to Clean Sex Toys
• Sex Toy Materials: What's Body-Safe and What to Avoid
• The Lube Guide: Which Lubricant Works With Your Toy
• Safety: The Through-Line of Everything
• Consent: The Foundation of Exploration
• Shibari: The Art and Safety of Rope Play