The Complete Dildo Guide: Everything You Actually Want to Know

So you're curious about dildos. Maybe you're shopping for your first one, maybe you've had a few and want to level up, or maybe you just want to understand what all the fuss is about. Either way, you're in the right place — and you're joining a very long tradition. A dildo — sometimes called a dong, realistic dildo, or penetrative toy — is one of the oldest human tools ever found. (We're talking 30,000 years long. Humans have always been resourceful.)

Let's break it all down in plain English.

A (Very) Brief History

Here's something that might surprise you: the dildo is one of the oldest human tools ever found. Scientists discovered a 20-centimeter siltstone phallus near Ulm, Germany, dating back to the Upper Palaeolithic period — roughly 30,000 years ago. Ancient Egyptians depicted them in art around 3000 BCE. Ancient Greeks made them from leather stuffed with wool and lubricated them with olive oil. In 15th-century China, women used lacquered wood versions with textured surfaces.

The word itself showed up in English literature as far back as the 1590s, appearing in Shakespeare's The Winter's Tale and in a rather scandalous poem by Thomas Nashe. Point being: this is not a modern invention. It's a deeply human one.

Dildos often appear in ancient art and were sometimes edited heavily during the Victorian era of exploration and exploitation and yet they persist.  Sailko, CC BY 3.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

What Exactly Is a Dildo?

A dildo is a non-vibrating device used for sexual stimulation of the vagina or anus. That's the straightforward definition. But within that category there's a surprisingly wide world of shapes, sizes, and materials.

By shape:

• Classic/realistic — designed to resemble a penis, in various sizes
• C-shaped or S-shaped — curved specifically for G-spot or P-spot stimulation
• Double-ended — a long, usually flexible dildo with both ends designed for penetration, allowing mutual use between two people or double penetration for one

By type:

• Strap-on dildos — worn in a harness to penetrate a partner (we've got a full guide on those)
• Glass dildos — a category worth its own deep dive, which we've written
• Standard dildos — the solo workhorse, used by hand or with a mount

Materials Matter More Than You Think

This is genuinely important, so let's spend a moment here.

Silicone is the gold standard for most dildos. It's body-safe, non-porous (meaning bacteria can't hide in it), easy to clean, and comes in a huge range of textures and firmnesses.

Borosilicate glass is another excellent choice — non-porous, temperature-play friendly, and sterilizable. (Yes, some glass toys can go in the dishwasher.) Head to our glass sex toys guide if that has your attention.

Stainless steel, titanium, and aluminium are all body-safe metals that share similar benefits to glass — firm, smooth, and easy to sanitize.

What to avoid: Soft plastics that contain phthalates — chemical plasticizers used to make toys feel squishy. These have been flagged in safety research and are worth steering clear of. When in doubt, check that a toy is labelled body-safe or phthalate-free. Our sex toy safety guide goes deeper on what to watch for.

Cleaning & Care

Non-porous toys (silicone, glass, metal) are the easiest to keep clean. Silicone can be boiled for 5–10 minutes or run through the dishwasher on the top shelf. Glass and stainless steel can be boiled or soaked in a diluted bleach-water solution.

For porous materials, always use a condom — bacteria can absorb into the material and can't be fully removed by washing alone.

One more note: don't use silicone-based lubricant with silicone toys — it breaks down the material over time. Water-based lube is your friend here. Our lube guide covers which formulas work best for different toys and uses.

What About Your Pelvic Floor?

If you've been reading about internal toys and wondering about muscle tone and sensation, that's actually a whole conversation of its own. Kegel exercises — and devices designed to support them — can meaningfully change how penetration feels. We cover all of that in our kegel exercises guide.

One More Thing: Dildos vs. Vibrators

People sometimes use these terms interchangeably, but they're different things. A dildo is non-vibrating. A vibrator adds — well — vibration, via an electric motor. Both are great; they just offer different kinds of stimulation. If you're curious about the buzzing side of things, check out our vibrators guide.

The Bottom Line

Dildos are one of the most versatile, time-tested tools in the entire sex toy world. The key things to remember: choose body-safe materials, match the shape to what you're actually looking for, clean your toys properly, and use the right lubricant. Everything else is just finding what feels good for you.

Dildo FAQ

What is a dildo?

A dildo is a penetrative sex toy designed for vaginal or anal stimulation. Unlike vibrators, dildos don't vibrate — they're used for manual stimulation or worn in a strap-on harness. They come in realistic shapes that mimic a penis, as well as abstract curves designed for G-spot or P-spot targeting. Materials range from medical-grade silicone and borosilicate glass to stainless steel, and they're used by people of all genders and orientations, solo or with a partner.

What are dildos made of?

Body-safe dildos are made from medical-grade silicone (flexible, non-porous, easy to clean), borosilicate glass (firm, smooth, ideal for temperature play), or stainless steel (extremely durable, holds temperature, completely non-porous). All three can be fully sterilized and don't harbor bacteria. Avoid dildos made from jelly rubber, PVC, or anything marketed as "cyberskin" or "realistic blend" without a phthalate-free label — these materials are porous and may contain chemicals worth avoiding. See our sex toy safety guide for the full breakdown.

What is a realistic dildo?

A realistic dildo is shaped to closely resemble a penis — with a defined head, veining, and skin-like texture. Many have a suction cup base for hands-free use on flat surfaces and are compatible with strap-on harnesses. They come in a wide range of sizes and skin tones, typically made from silicone or blended materials. If you're choosing a realistic dildo for strap-on use, confirm the base is flat enough to seat properly in an O-ring harness.

How do I choose a dildo?

Consider four things: material (silicone or glass for body safety), size (start smaller than you think), shape (curved for G-spot or P-spot targeting, straight for general penetration), and function (harness-compatible base if you want to use it for strap-on play, suction cup if you want hands-free use). First-time buyers should look for a smooth, mid-size silicone dildo without strong texture — easier and more forgiving than highly realistic or heavily textured options.

What size dildo should I start with?

Beginners should start with something around 5–6 inches in insertable length and 1 to 1.25 inches in diameter — roughly average proportions. Don't overestimate what will feel comfortable; a well-fitted toy is far more pleasurable than one that's too large. For anal use specifically, start even smaller and go slower — our anal toys guide covers sizing and preparation in detail. You can always size up once you know what works for your body.