Anal Toys: The Friendly, Judgment-Free Guide You've Been Looking For

Let's talk about anal play. It's one of the most common sexual interests across all genders and orientations, and also one of the most under-discussed in any genuinely useful way. Most people either get silence, snickering, or content that assumes you're already an expert. This guide is none of those things.

Whether you're completely new to this or just want to understand the landscape better, here's everything that actually matters.

First Things First: Who Is This For?

Everyone. Anal play is enjoyed by people of all genders, orientations, and relationship configurations. The anus has a high concentration of nerve endings regardless of anatomy, and for people with a prostate, anal stimulation offers access to one of the body's most responsive erogenous zones. There's no demographic this doesn't apply to — just personal preference, which is entirely yours to explore or not.

The Golden Rule of Anal Toys: Flared Base, Always

Before we get into types and materials, this is the one non-negotiable: any toy used anally must have a flared base or a retrieval cord.

Here's why: unlike the vagina, the rectum doesn't have a natural stopping point. The rectal muscles can contract and draw objects upward, potentially into the colon. This isn't a rare or dramatic edge case — it's just anatomy. A flared base that sits outside the body prevents this entirely. It's not a preference, it's a design requirement. If a toy doesn't have one, it's not suitable for anal use, full stop.

Types of Anal Toys

Butt Plugs

Butt plugs are the most recognisable anal toy, and for good reason — they're designed specifically for this purpose. They're typically shorter than dildos, with a tapered tip for easy insertion, a wider middle section, and then a narrowed neck that sits against the sphincter, keeping the plug comfortably in place. The flared base rests outside the body.

They come in a huge range of sizes, from genuinely tiny beginner options to much more substantial ones for experienced users. Starting small is always the right call — the goal is comfort and gradual exploration, not going straight to the deep end.

We go into much more detail in our dedicated butt plugs guide, including materials, sizing, and how to wear one comfortably.

Anal Beads

Anal beads are a series of connected spheres — usually graduating in size — designed to be inserted one at a time and then removed, typically during orgasm. The sensation comes from the sphincter repeatedly engaging and releasing around each bead. They can be made from silicone, plastic, or metal, and again — they need a retrieval cord or ring at the end. Always.

Prostate Massagers

Prostate massagers are curved devices designed to reach and stimulate the prostate gland, located about 5–8 centimetres inside the rectum toward the front of the body. They're typically angled to hit that specific spot, and many vibrate. The prostate is sometimes called the male G-spot for good reason — for people who have one, direct stimulation can be intensely pleasurable.

We cover this in much more depth in our prostate massage guide.

Anal Vibrators

These work like other anal toys but with the addition of vibration. The safest designs have a flared base that remains outside the body. Vibration adds a layer of sensation that many people find significantly increases the experience — both for general anal play and for prostate stimulation specifically.

Materials: Same Rules as Always

The same material principles that apply to all sex toys apply here, arguably more so given the sensitivity of the tissue involved.

Silicone is the top choice for most anal toys — soft, non-porous, body-safe, and easy to clean. Stainless steel and borosilicate glass are excellent for those who want something firm and completely sterilizable. (Our glass sex toys guide covers what makes glass a genuinely smart choice.)

Avoid porous materials — rubber, jelly, and certain soft plastics — for anal use in particular. The rectal lining is highly absorbent, which means anything in the material can potentially be absorbed too. Phthalate-free and body-safe labelling matters here more than anywhere else.

Lubrication: More Than You Think You Need

The anus, unlike the vagina, produces no natural lubrication. Lube is not optional for anal play — it's essential for comfort and safety. Use a generous amount, apply it to both the toy and the body, and reapply as needed.

Water-based lubricant works with all toy materials. Silicone-based lube is longer-lasting but can't be used with silicone toys — it degrades the material. If you're using a silicone toy (which you probably are), stick to water-based.

Going Slowly Is the Whole Game

The most common mistake with anal play is rushing. The sphincter is a muscle — it needs time to relax, and forcing it doesn't work and isn't pleasant. Arousal helps significantly; most people find that anal play is much more comfortable when they're already turned on.

Start with the smallest size that exists. Get comfortable with that before going anywhere else. There's no timeline here.

Cleaning and Care

Non-porous toys can be fully sterilized between uses:

• Silicone: boil for 5–10 minutes or run through the top rack of the dishwasher
• Stainless steel: boil or soak in a diluted bleach-water solution
• Glass: same as stainless steel, or dishwasher

For any toy used anally, thorough cleaning every single time is non-negotiable. If you're sharing toys between partners, use a fresh condom for each person.

The Connection to Pelvic Floor Health

Anal comfort and pelvic floor health are more connected than most people realise. The same muscles involved in kegel exercises affect the anal sphincter and surrounding tissue. If you're experiencing tension or discomfort, our kegel exercises guide is worth reading — pelvic floor awareness is relevant to anal play in ways that aren't always obvious.

And If You're Curious About Dildos for Anal Use

Regular dildos can absolutely be used anally — provided they have a flared base. If you're exploring that crossover, our complete dildo guide covers materials, shapes, and sizing in detail.

The Short Version

Anal toys are safe, enjoyable, and widely used. The rules are simple: always use a flared base, always use lube, always go slowly, and always choose body-safe materials. Everything else is just figuring out what you like.