How to Choose an Anal Toy: The Complete Buyer's Guide

Walking into the anal toy section of any store — physical or online — and knowing what you're actually looking at is harder than it should be. Size, material, shape, firmness, vibration — there are a lot of variables, and most product descriptions assume you already know what you want. This guide gives you the framework to make a genuinely informed choice.

Start with the Non-Negotiable: Flared Base

Before anything else: every anal toy must have a flared base or retrieval cord that stays outside the body. This is not a preference or a style choice — it's a safety requirement. The rectum has no natural stopping point, and toys without an external base can be drawn upward into the colon.

If a toy doesn't have a flared base, it doesn't belong in this conversation. Our anal toys guide explains the full anatomy behind this rule.

Step One: What Kind of Sensation Are You After?

The right toy depends entirely on what you want from the experience. These are the main categories:

Fullness and pressure. A butt plug is designed for this — it sits in place and creates a sustained sensation of fullness. Good for wear during other activities, during sex with a partner, or as a solo experience. Our butt plugs guide covers this category in depth.

Prostate stimulation. For people with a prostate, a curved prostate massager delivers targeted pressure directly to the gland. This produces a qualitatively different sensation than a standard plug. Our prostate massage guide covers everything about this specifically.

Entry and exit sensation. Anal beads create pleasure through the repeated engagement of the sphincter around each bead — particularly during removal at orgasm. Our anal beads guide explains how this works.

Penetration. A dildo with a flared base allows for in-and-out movement and control over depth and angle. Our complete dildo guide covers what to look for when choosing one for anal use.

Vibration. Many anal toys come with vibration — plugs, prostate massagers, beads. Vibration works particularly well for prostate stimulation, which responds to sustained sensation.

Step Two: Size

This is where most people overthink it — usually in the direction of choosing too large.

For beginners: Start genuinely small. The goal of a first toy is to build comfort and body awareness, not to challenge yourself. A toy that's almost too easy is exactly right. You'll progress from there naturally.

For experienced users: Size up gradually. The anal sphincter is a muscle that adapts with use, but it needs time. Jumping sizes too quickly leads to discomfort rather than pleasure.

Measuring: If you're buying online, pay attention to the insertable length and the widest diameter — these are the two numbers that actually matter. Circumference (the measurement around the widest point) is often more useful than diameter for understanding how a toy will feel.

A practical guideline: Beginners should look for a widest diameter of around 1 inch or less. That's smaller than most people assume they need, and it's the right starting point for genuine comfort.

Step Three: Material

Material choice matters more for anal toys than almost anywhere else, because the rectal lining is highly absorbent tissue. What's in the toy can potentially be absorbed into the body — which makes body-safe, non-porous materials essential rather than merely preferable.

Silicone: The best choice for most people. Body-safe, non-porous, flexible enough to be comfortable, and easy to sterilize. Most beginner toys are silicone for good reason.

Stainless steel: Completely body-safe, non-porous, and sterilizable. Delivers firm, precise pressure — preferred by many experienced users for prostate stimulation specifically. Can be used for temperature play.

Borosilicate glass: The same properties as stainless steel — completely safe, non-porous, and excellent for temperature play. Heavier than silicone, with a distinctive sensation. Our glass sex toys guide covers why glass is a smarter choice than most people realize.

Avoid: Rubber, jelly, PVC, and vaguely described "soft plastics." These are porous — they harbor bacteria and can leach chemicals. They cannot be fully sterilized. Our sex toy materials guide covers the full breakdown of what's safe and what isn't.

Step Four: Firmness

Within body-safe materials, firmness varies significantly.

Soft silicone is the most forgiving — it flexes with the body and is the most comfortable for beginners or for extended wear.

Firm silicone delivers more distinct pressure and holds its shape better during use.

Stainless steel and glass are completely rigid — they don't flex at all. This produces very precise, unyielding pressure that many experienced users prefer for prostate stimulation, but can be less comfortable for beginners.

As a general rule: beginners do better with softer materials, experienced users can explore firmer options.

Step Five: Vibration — Yes or No?

Vibrating anal toys add a continuous layer of sensation that many people find significantly enhances the experience. For prostate stimulation specifically, vibration is often more effective than pressure alone — the prostate responds well to sustained stimulation that a vibrating toy delivers without fatigue.

For beginners, vibration is optional — a non-vibrating plug is perfectly effective and simpler to start with. For anyone interested in prostate stimulation, a vibrating prostate massager is worth considering from early on.

If you go vibrating, look for multiple settings — intensity and pattern variety lets you find what works for your body specifically.

Discreet Shopping

One of the most common questions about buying anal toys — and sex toys generally — is whether the purchase will be discreet. The short answer: reputable retailers, including online stores, ship in plain packaging with no indication of contents. Billing descriptions are typically neutral. If discretion matters to you, look for explicit statements about packaging and billing on the retailer's site before purchasing.

Putting It Together

The right first anal toy for most people is a small, soft silicone butt plug with a flared base. It's not exciting as a description, but it's the choice that leads to a good first experience — which is what matters. Everything else opens up from there.

Whatever you choose, pair it with generous water-based lubricant, proper preparation, and a relaxed approach. Our anal prep guide covers the preparation side in full.

How to Choose Anal Toys FAQ

What size anal toy should I start with?

Smaller than you think. For beginners, look for a widest diameter of around 1 inch or less. Starting comfortable builds the body awareness and confidence that makes every subsequent experience better. You can always progress to larger sizes — but a first experience that's too ambitious is the most common reason people don't try again.

What material is best for anal toys?

Silicone is the best choice for most people — body-safe, non-porous, flexible, and easy to sterilize. Stainless steel and borosilicate glass are excellent for those who prefer firm pressure or want to explore temperature play. Avoid porous materials (rubber, jelly, soft PVC) entirely — the rectal lining is highly absorbent and porous materials cannot be fully sterilized.

Should my first anal toy vibrate?

It's optional for beginners. A non-vibrating butt plug is perfectly effective and simpler to start with. If prostate stimulation is your primary interest, a vibrating prostate massager is worth considering from the start — vibration is particularly effective for prostate stimulation. Otherwise, start simple and add vibration later if you want it.

How do I know if an anal toy is body-safe?

Look for silicone, stainless steel, or borosilicate glass — these are the materials with a confirmed safe track record. Avoid anything described as rubber, jelly, "realistic feel," or vaguely labeled soft plastic. Body-safe toys will typically state their material clearly. If a listing is vague about materials, that's a red flag. Our sex toy materials guide covers this in full.

Which companies offer discreet shipping for anal toys?

Most reputable sex toy retailers ship in plain, unmarked packaging with no indication of contents. Billing descriptions are typically neutral — often the company's parent name or a generic description rather than the store name. Check the retailer's FAQ or shipping policy page for explicit statements about packaging and billing discretion before purchasing if this is important to you.

What's the difference between a butt plug and a prostate massager?

A butt plug is designed for general anal fullness and sensation — it sits in place and is used by people of all anatomies. A prostate massager is specifically curved to reach and stimulate the prostate gland, which is only present in people assigned male at birth. If prostate stimulation is your goal, a purpose-built prostate massager is more effective than a standard plug. See our prostate massage guide for more.